New Beginning

It's literally been a month since I last blogged. Now that I have in fact reached the one month milestone, I believe it is only appropriate to reflect on what I have gained / lost so far.

Gained:
1. My own place
2. Better social life
3. Exciting job

Lost:
1. 10 pounds
2. Every ounce of muscle
3. Car
4. Clean air
5. A lot of money. A lot.

I am slightly getting home sick, but for more the purposes of comfort rather than opportunity. The transition have been painless so far but I do question my situation from time to time. It's weird because I'm starting to appreciate my own race now. I used to deny my culture, simply because it was so lame in Canada. Something that is perceived as a watered down version of China in Richmond Hill. Society playfully mocks it, and I despise society for it. But now, this is where the root of all things happen (HK). This IS Chinese culture. A majority even to the world economy.

I will try to keep up the blogging at least once a week. I realize without any articles to publish, my writing skills are depreciating at an exponential rate. It's also fun to read back on it from time to time I guess...

A View From the Afternoon

Ok, I lied, I didn't find an apartment. It's in fact a hotel. AND it's within my pricerange. Now where to put the drumset....hm...

Hong Kong, Hong Kong

During the wee hours of Friday night, I stepped outside the bar to get some fresh air and also to spot an arrival of a long-lost friend. A man with fuzzy facial hair in a hooded jacket grazed right past me, walking at a pace just short of running. I did a double take only to realize that he was Josh Harnett. Yeah, who cares. But as shallow as it seems, I enjoy a good celeb sighting every now and then. It authenticates a city don't you think?

Now what?

It's really not that hot over here. I can't wait till October because I believe that will be perfect jeans + T-shirt weather. In a matter of just 1 day since arrival, I managed to:
1. Open a bank account
2. Find an apartment
3. Visit my grandparents
4. Find a girlfriend
5. Meet up with friends

Ok, so no.4 is false, but regardless, I've been pretty successful/productive thus far. It was discouraging at first to see that my budget for apartments could only get me a toilet with a shower head attached to the top of it. Literally. This means I can shit AND take a shower at the same time. If only they sold waterproof newspapers....

But alas, this new apartment looks grand. Further than anticipated, but nicer than beyond my expectations. I give myself a week before I try to find faults in it.

Now here's the problem. I've been too productive. What I anticipated to take a week to do is all done in a matter of 12 hours from arrival. And I'm now learning to relax. Nope, they didn't have the latest Naomi Klein book, and my self-help book on positive psychology is beginning to sound redundant. God forbid I'll be left with my own thoughts. Help!

T minus 24 hours

In 24 hours I'm boarding a plane to Hong Kong. Nope, still hasn't hit me yet.

A trip to Waterloo yesterday reaffirmed my hatred for small towns. I think because individuals there are so uncultured, and homogeneous that they feel threatened by everything (i.e. minorities). Like they have to be rude and condescending to make up for their lack of knowledge of the world. They will try to justify their insignificant existence in their shitty town by putting up a facade of rudeness to feel dominant.

Funny in university I used to feel threatened by these people. Going back now, a little more mature, makes me realize how pathetic they all are. I used to buy into their establishment of status through physical appearance or pseudo-gangster mannerisms. What was I thinking...

Collective who?

For those that still care, Collective Soul just released their new album "Afterwards" yesterday. I'm not ashamed... I like it...

Going nuts...

I know I should be excited. I know that I have achieved a milestone and will take on a new adventure. I know that in a weeks time, my life is about to change. I thought taking a week off work will let me focus, relax and properly say my goodbyes. But so far, it has driven me even more crazy than before. Rather than being happy I'm worried sick. Worried about the Hong Kong temprature, my preparation, my lack of excitement, my scar that I gotten from surgery, my intentions and my confidence. This is the time I should be celebrating, but yet I've become a madman, cacooned inside a house and developing thoughts that end with bad conclusions.

I need to be occupied, to be kept busy so none of these thoughts creep into my head. I feel as if I should always be doing something productive, otherwise I'll be wasting my week. I don't know if living alone is such a good idea anymore...

Post 9/11 John Stewart Speech

A riveting speech from John Stewart. I've been looking for this video for ages and it has lived up to all expectations. What he does so well is interpret the spirit of what happens after tragedy

TDS - Jon Stewart's Post-9/11 Speech

I'm leaving, on a jetplane...

I think the trick to leaving the company is to:
1. Move to a far away city that nobody knows alot about
2. Join a profession that is perceived to be cooler than the current one

Say I become an actor/model in Dubai, I would wish this person all the best. Like, "oh, your chances of making it are slim, but it will definitely be exciting, in wherever you're going".

I feel like me being honest with co-workers is appropriate. People will also be pleasantly kind to you for the sake of avoiding work. I did more explaining about my future to others than working. Not once this week had I had to pay for lunch. I was taken out from one event to another for 4 days straight. As long as they had me, it was an excuse to have extended lunches and really let their guards down as to discussing what their ambitions really are.

It's weird because I want to leave on good terms, and for me to respond to "are you excited?" is a tricky one. If I said "yes", than that means I'll be telling my co-workers to fuck off. If I said "no", than I usually get "well what's wrong with you?". Typically, I would say no for the sake of not offending anyone, but I'm honestly feeling melancholy about the whole situation. It probably just hasn't sunken in yet.

So yeah, tomorrow is my last day and oddly enough, I will miss a few people. Gord Smith, who epitomizes the aging hipster will definitely be one of them. How often can you find a person who played drums for 25 years (at some of the finest jazz clubs mind you), with a Master's degree, a PHD wife and a vested hobbyist in philosophy in a Marketing Research company? I often take finding these people for granted as I hear friends talk about their own corporate jail with not a person in sight that can share the importance of culture/arts/politics.

Now I can only hope that the trade-off I have made will be worthwhile...

Fuck Richmond Hill

I just got a parking ticket today. In front of my own goddamn house! As if traffic will be SO busy in the suburbs, the municipality had to hand me a ticket as a warning. They're basically telling me "leave this fucking town, because the laws we have in place makes no goddamn sense". I really hated this shit town but this puts it over the top. If there was any consolation though, my neighbour got a ticket as well...

Speaking of Michel Gondry...

Top three music videos of all time:
3. Pearl Jam - Do the Evolution
2. Blur - Coffee and TV
1. Star Guitar - The Chemical Brothers

Don't believe me? See for yourself:

Chemical Brothers - Star Guitar
Uploaded by sneaky

Another reason to buy Kanye's new record

Alright, so he's conceded, cocky, and a label whore, but you can't deny that his music is good. And so is his taste in art. For his album cover, Kanye teamed up with what NYTimes tout as the Warhol of Japan: Takashi Murakami.

Seriously, he is not limited by the confines of his own culture, Kanye actually tries to expand his taste globally. I also realized that "Heard'em Say" was directed by Michel Gondry. I know... SO cool.

Work Conversations - Selfish

J - “If homeless people gave receipts, I would donate more”

So long Toronto

Well it's official. I agreed, and I am going. I can't wait to work for long hours, bask in smoggy skies, breath the humid air and listen to bad music.

Seriously, there is no doubt this is going to be exciting!

Buy Kanye's New Record

I know. What? Purchase something you can easily download? Well according to this, 50 Cent is so confident that he will outsell Mr. West that if he loses..... Fiddy Cent will no longer put out any more solo albums! How great is that for society. Kids will no longer idolize money, hate gays, wear oversized clothing, and best of all, listen to bad music. For the greater good people. For the greater good.

Work Conversations - Virginia Tech

J - “It’s better to go crazy and shoot people, than to hold someone for ransom. You’re less selfish”

I know what your interests are

I figured it out. Interests are not based on the idea of personal preference. That in fact comes after what is even more important: economics. We like things based on the principal of supply and demand. I have already learned that as humans, we are happier if things are exclusively yours. It is already scientifically proven that people would rather earn less if everyone else earned even less. So, to like something would mean for it to not be attained by the populace.

However, there is a guideline involved. Yes, jealously is a necessity, but it needs to come from the right people. I can have the entire Kenny Rogers collection, but what good is it if the people who really want it, I don't really care about?

Exhibit A. I think baseball is boring. It is in fact a game and not a sport. But the reason why I go to these games is because we are in an exciting division. Toronto has access to catch Boston or New York games for only $2. I'm certain that fans of either team are incredibly jealous that we have the privilege to catch their team without fighting for overpriced scalped tickets due to a sold out game. Seeing how I am obsessed with New York culture, I guess I can grow to like baseball.

Am I close? Otherwise, please prove me wrong.

Testing my patience

I am currently writing my third test for Nielsen. So not only did I go though 4 interviews in which 2 of them occurred at 5:00 in the morning (to account for 5 pm Hong Kong time), I now must write a bloody test. Seriously, not cool. They've got me jumping through hoops like some circus dog.

Writing this test does feel like high school again. Well, just calculus class, because this is typically how I approach all my quantitative problems:

1. Sit down with paper, calculator and pencil
2. Attempt work
3. Get frustrated
4. Swear profusely at myself
5. Watch television to take a break
6. Repeat step one.

If lucky, I actually finish a question before my third television break.

Work Conversations - Bomb Shelter

J - “Never let somebody smarter than you into the bomb shelter”

Closing time

Does this happen to you? When you purchase expensive items only to realize that your happiness is temporary? That whatever you can do by monetary means can only last you at most, 2 days worth of happiness. I bought new glasses today. Fancy ones (I think), but even after the purchase, I felt sad knowing that I will soon try to find faults in it, and look for new ones. It's human nature I guess. Marketing has a term for it: Post Purchase Remorse. The bigger ticket the item, the more remorse...

These headphones I will receive in the mail will probably be the same. I will shout with glee when it arrives. I will play the hell out of it. I will discover a newer, better sounding headphone and get depressed again. It's a vicious cycle I tell you.

Cancel This!

I just spent 160$ on headphones. Why so much money you ask? And when the heck will I ever use it? I always have to explain myself to people, but you just have to listen to Pogue's rant to fully understand:

Monocle > The Economist

Monocle people. I think I found a better magazine. Not necessarily better, but more suitable for my taste. You see, The Economist is great, but it's nearly impossible to keep up with it's weekly releases, repetitive middle east coverage, and not to mention the premium price. It's the perfect mix of business and culture without sounding overly pretentious.

This month's issue ranks the 20 most livable cities. Guess who's number one? Actually, don't bother guessing cause you probably wouldn't get it anyways: Munich.

But what was more surprising was that neither New York or London made the list. Two Canadian cities did, and neither of them start with a "T". Yep, you can certainly blame that on our poor infrastructure in public transportation.

Work Conversations - Payless

J - “You know where you could get dress shoes real cheap? The funeral home”

God bless Alaska

This is Ted Stevens. He is the Senator of Alaska. When speaking out on Network Neutrality, he referred to the Internet as "a series of tubes". During the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, Ted threatened to resign from senate if one of his many useless Alaskan bridge projects be used to aid Louisiana instead. Did I mention that he's republican?

On my 17 hour flight home to Toronto from Hong Kong, I had to pass by Alaska. All passangers got off the plane, checked into Alaska through security, hung around an airport the size of my house, then checked back onto the plane. I also read at the Alaskan airport that the threat level is high. I never knew that Alaska was such a sought after terrorist destination...

Plam reading truth?

Someone new at work claims to know how to read palms. Like every good ice-breaker, I show her my hand to pretend to be fascinated. Always knew palm reading was nonsense, and the validity to such general claims is impossible, but I might as well play along.

She tells me I will have no kids. She also tells me I will have a miserable love life with two divorces. Somehow, I started to believe in palm reading after all...

Work Conversations - Sunburn

None of this is fabricated. It just writes itself. I overheard this from the cubicle over.

L - “I think I’m getting sunburn on one arm from driving to work. Maybe I should take a different route”

And so it is...

Everyone develops a tolerance for pressure. We begin with school deadlines, to exams, to travel, to public speaking and now, in my case: interviews. I have always been decent under pressure, but to invest $2,000 on a plane ticket, purchase a suit, and set up two out of three interviews in a language I rarely use was quite the challenge. But yet, looking back, I have managed to develop a greater threshold for pressure, knowing that everything I have planned have come into fruition. Well, not everything... and I can say some turned out more unsuccessful than others, but at least the future challenges that lay ahead will be frivolous in comparison to the past week.

I cannot be more thankful for the people I hung out with in the city, and I apologize to those that I didn't have time for. Actually, I'm sure, there was always time, but you can blame my lack of organizational abilities. Oh well, there's always next time.

Hong Kong, Hong Kong.

Sorry for the lack of posts as of late. As you know, I'm in Hong Kong, and it's 100000 degrees outside, which makes typing really difficult.

So far, I realized that in only one generation, the difference between me and my aunts and uncles are very different. Try two generations. It's like speaking to people from outer space. I love them, but their constant badgering, and degradation just to solidify status is starting to take a toll on my patience. For instance, there is no such thing as creative suggestion, it's either you are with it, or you're a fucking idiot. I'm referring to learning the language, manners, or culture. They assume I speak English and jerk off the rest of the day. Time is so limited, it's hard to take up everything. For god sakes, I'm trying... please don't hit me over the head with it!

I met my aunt though, and all is well. It's like going to a cottage house with a family that gets it. Like I'm treated as a real adult! Wow! Thanks Wendy if you're reading this, and keep your head up.

My grandfather is also growing on me. He asked me why I don't have a girlfriend. He says meeting them is so easy there should be no problem. I had a response, but I just didn't know how to say "commitment" and "slut" in Cantonese.

Team Building Fun?

I used to despise it. In fact, even when I was having fun, I subconsciously knew the purpose of these lavish exercises is to meld you into corporate culture. Meet the team! Have fun! And come to work!

It is an HR ploy, aided by the backing of thousands of dollars in which they pamper employees with drinks, food and activities. You will soon high-five the most annoying co-worker just because he/she is on your team.

Well, I give up. Why be bitter when you can actually enjoy the moment? So what if the music is awful, the jokes are corny, the people are uncultured and locations are far away. If you are entertained, you are entertained, so long as you understand the context of why you are there and not buy into it. For just today, I have let my guard down, and it was great.

Specialist

Please listen to this Interpol song on my playlist. I still get chills from hearing it. I can't stress how great their chemestry is. The bass perfectly times all his double tapped notes, the drums rythmically drives the songs into breakneck pace, and the crescendo to its vocals will make you feel like you have just been enlightened. I'm really torn between them and the Stokes in claiming first prize on best New York band.

Apply some pressure

Got my ticket, set up my two interviews, and now I'm going to Hong Kong next weekend. There will be a tremendous amount of pressure, but this is what I enjoy. To be placed in a situation where something as spontaneous as this will be laughed at a few years down the road. I might not necessarily get what I want, but something good will come out of it. I'm certain. At least I tried right?

This upcoming week will be all prep. It will be Cantonese everything from now on until I am completely comfortable with the language. God I hope this works out. I'm nervous as fuck, and all rationale is thrown out the window but I know I can nail this... I just know it... I've waited an entire year for this opportunity to arrive, I can't give up now.

Work Conversations - Terrorist Treatment

I think this will be my weekly segment. The office is filled with enough bizzare characters (including myself) to keep us entertained.

We got off on the topic of 8 highly educated terrorists in England the other day:

J – I got an idea with what to do with arrested terrorists

Me – What

J – Cage match. Bare knuckles

Me – But what does the winner get? No terrorists are going to fight each other

J – No no, you pay to fight them

Me – But what if they outmuscle you?

J – I’d fight those doctors in England. They’re spindly little fucks.

Yet, I never disagreed...

Canaydia Day

What is ceremonious about Canada day? Thanksgiving's got turkeys, Easter has eggs, Christmas has gifts etc etc. And if you said Canada day has fireworks, you're wrong, because Victoria Day takes that one.

Well, I got a new one for ya. Parades! Loaded the band equipment on the back of a truck and played while it was driving for a few block. Nothing beats playing an instrument in the open air while moving at the same time.

No, we are not a "White Stripes" tribute band.

Argh, living is so difficult. How do you people do it?

I want a relationship, I want to be single, I want to fuck, I want sympathy, I want more friends, I want to love my family, I want to make love, I want to be left alone, I want to go back to school, I want a career, I want romance, I want acquaintances, I want to go out, I want to stay home, I want to leave this life, I want to start living, I want to be a trend setter, I want to ignore all trends, I want to get married, I want to be a bachelor, I want to be satisfied, I want to be ambitious...

The list goes on. And yet our time is only so finite, it is impossible to satisfy everything we want...

I'm double booked

Do you get annoyed when people brag about how busy they are? As if being "busy" is a fucking virtue. Y'know what I mean? They say they can't attend to you because they have really important things to do. Or, more important things than to attend to you. And if so, it is also a word used to demean the respondant.

If you don't have time, tell me you don't have time. Don't tell me you were double booked, or was really busy, or was stressed from all that work. EVERYONE is busy. It's all relative. The word "busy" is such a subjective word that it can be thrown around with no merit. You will also get no sympathy like "Oh... I'm sorry to hear you were busy" because frankly, no one gives a fuck.

I could be busy closing three measly contracts. The president can be stopping three terrorist plots and consider that busy. But yet we treat our own business like it can really save lives. Just tell me if you're available or not. And if something can't be done on time, don't apologize or tell me you were busy, because that does not help the task at hand.

Right Stripes

I never was a huge fan of the White Stripes until now. You see, they are currently touring their new album in Canada and they just played for 600 people at Iqaluit yesterday. For those who don't know where Iqaluit is.... it's in the middle of fucking nowhere (capital of Nunavut). It is so far North, that city is closer to Greenland than it is to Ontario.

And this is what I mean by achieving pure happiness. They never tried to impress the cool kids, play at the "right" venues or fill a stadium. It was moms, dads, families, children of all ages attending the show. They no longer try to chase what is hip, simply because they ARE hip. The White Stripes were there because they wanted to see the city, while bringing music along with them. I don't care what you have to say about the duo, but their feast yesterday is something I true admire.

Check out the article here:
http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/Music/article/230218

Where do they go?

When street breakdancers are ecliped by younger breakdancers, where do they go? It's not really one of those jobs that you can take with you to different industries. I mean, you can be a pro-dancer, but that's more formal dancing then breaking. You can teach other street breakers, but you won't earn a dime, cause they're too poor to pay you off. God forbid you join a basketball dance pack and sell your street cred soul.

The ones on Dundas Square are unbelievably charismatic. Rarely unfazed by the reluctant public, the performers persistently perform and remain animated, regardless of who's watching. They're not shy either, although that must be on your resume to be a street performer. Odd how these starving artists, getting by on donations, have more confidence and better presentation skills than the comfortable, suburban office worker. It pays to know the streets.

Superbad!

Met with Michael Cera last week for a profile interview. As much as I wish to write a scathing article, not a bone in his body was insincere. I think at times, he was even more mature than I was. I could not have met a more humble, well-grounded person in my life. Look out for his article in Corduroy Magazine on shelves in Nov/Dec.

For those who have yet to know who he is, he's George Michael from Arrested Development. Or one of the two main leads from the upcoming movie: Superbad
http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/superbad/

You can also check out his CBS online stint at:

http://www.clarkandmichael.com/

Farmer's tan

You drive 10 minutes north of Richmond hill and this is what you get: a cottage town sprinkled with run down barns, gas stations and a driving range!



Caleb came back half way across the world this weekend to remind me that I have the tools to move to Hong Kong. Coincidentally, I receive a phone call from Nielsen HK right when I got home. Thanks to Caleb's confidence boost, I felt that the telephone interview went well. The timing couldn't have been any better. Thanks if you're reading this.

Music! My music! Listen!

My personal jukebox can now be used at your disposal. Now I can force my opinions down other people's throats. I don't want to sound conceded but if you know what's good for you, listen to my playlist. I'm serious.

Duck walk

An indication of a great day is when something different happens in the morning before work. It can be a snowstorm, a blackout, a phonecall, and in the case of this morning... ducks crossing the street! My question is, since when did ducks learn how to properly cross the street in the first place? I've seen ducks crossing in the middle of the street, but this batch used the lights at a busy intersection. They did not walk diagonally, or in an odd pattern. They would just cross the street how we would normally do, but really really slowly.

Its great to see the aggravation in many faces as the ducks took their time. A car even skimmed a duck by driving around them because work is just SO important. I say let the ducks disturb our "busy" day. No matter how us humans change the landscape, nature has a way of reminding us that we can't control everything.

Conundrum this!

When you sit next to co-workers for 8 hours a day, you start to say the craziest of things just to take a break from work. It often feels like forced conversations, but can sometimes lead to the greatest of conclusions. We recently went bananas over conundrums:

Me - So if you and your daughter were the last to arrive at a bomb shelter, and there is only room for one more, who would you choose?

J - Isn't the answer obvious?

Me - Not really...

J - I can always reproduce

Should I bother typing this?

Sometimes, I worry about what I type. I mean, who could be reading this? What if I inadvertently insult someone without knowing it. Blogs are really a double-edged sword because you want your opinions heard, but to only the right demographic. You want this to be read by the greatest amount of people, yet you worry about what others will think.

Love, politics, things of raw emotion is what really matter in life right? So why is it so hard to put down on paper? I have been playing it safe as of late, and it's paining me to do so. Actually not really, but I feel as if I'm portraying an image of who I want to be, as opposed to who I am. Hell, who am I? I guess I'll figure it out in the days to come...

I did get recruited from an awesome department in ACNielsen HK... hope this works out.

Work Quotes

I'm putting together a quote book based on corporate culture. Problem is, there is not enough quotes to fill the book, they keep using the same sentences over and over again. Well, it still could be a children's book I guess. I'll just fill the pages with illustrations of robots or rats talking. It is neither an insult or stereotype of my company. It's simply an observation. But sometimes, those are the only phrases you can use to get your point across. I caught myself using it from time to time as well. Any of you guilty of this?

1. Touch base
2. Moving forward
3. Put it in the pipeline
4. It’s Friday
5. It’s Monday
6. Numbers are soft
7. Get the ball rolling
8. Get behind the eight ball
9. A Good Learning experience
10. How was your weekend?
11. How are you?
12. How are things?
13. Busy?
14. Any plans for the weekend?

Am I missing any?

Oh Snap!

A photo montage is never complete without Fergie Ferg right? Although I was not able to catch her peeing in her pants, which I was told she does from time to time. Oh yeah, and this guy from Finch Station... my idol.

Panasonic DMC-FX07

Finally took my new camera out for a spin. Parked at Finch Station, bought a day-pass, and off I went...

I'm still undecided whether I like the city or not. Although it's definitely starting to grow on me.

Toronto polite? I think not!

In July 2006's issue of Reader's Digest, the most polite cities in the world were ranked based on a courtesy test. The results were as follows:

1. New York

2. Zurich

3. Toronto

4. Berlin

5. Sao Paulo

18. London
19. Paris
26. Hong Kong

Yay, we're in the top three. But what gives? Why are we not at #1, which typically is expected of us. I'll give you the reason. Public transportation. The damn Toronto transit is one of the worst in the world when it comes to courtesy. As if transit layout and consistency is bad enough, the least they can do is fix their manners.

Today alone, I was yelled at for negligent transfers, mocked for asking a question, and was told "tough luck" when asked to use debit instead of cash. And these were all staff members.

You wonder why the suburbs are refusing to take public transportation downtown and our highway problems are getting worse. After all those strikes, ticket hikes, upgrades and loans the government gives to the TTC, you figured there might be SOME improvement. Oh yeah, and this guy was just recently nominated TTC's Chairman this year:

yeah, I also did a double take. This guy is only 30. I might be shallow (or bitter), but no way would I trust a "kid" with my tax dollars.

You're so beautiful

Watch this video if you want to immediately burst into laughter. I was honestly not impressed by their television show, but the music is royally solid. They are literally the new Tenacious D. Only that they are.... dare I say... better?



Oh yeah, stuff like this also makes me incredibly jealous. All it takes is two dudes on a guitar to come up with this. I just need an equally, if not, more ambitious partner.

Breaks my heart

While in Hong Kong, my mom couldn't muscle up the courage to present two wigs for my aunt who is to undergo chemotherapy. Sometimes, many things are better left unsaid...

Fight Fight Fight!

I can't help it. This seriously has to stop. My obsession with fighting is at an all time high. I used to randomly watch it on television. Now, I can list you every legalized fighting organization, fight camp, fight history, fighting style, weight class and even educational background to every fighter. I retain this information faster than all 4 of my university years combined.

Although I have grown up playing every single sport known to man, this recent one has topped the list. Call it what you will: Homoerotic, human cockfighting, barbaric, you cannot deny that it is human nature to be interested in combat sports. Especially if it is a sport based on instinct... and not a set of rules. Well, there are a few rules, but out of all the sports today, I can say this one has the least (with the exception of "Rollarball" of course). you wonder why "gladiators" were able to draw crowds by the cities. It is the truest form of athleticism.

All the gadgets are thrown out, and you are simply left with human vs. human. It's not how far you can throw a ball, or swing a racket, it's what REALLY matters... whether you can physically harm your opponent with the tools you were born with.

I think I might be going off the deep end. The fact that I took time to post a blog about fighting. This obsession really has to stop.

Just Criminal

I might be a little late on this one. For those who haven't read this yet, it's quite appalling:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/13/us/13pants.html?em&ex=1181966400&en=56ad88f9c976b37b&ei=5070

A judge is trying to sue a Dry Cleaners owned by an immigrant Korean family for a pair of lost pants... for $67 million dollars. Just when you think you have achieved the American dream, up comes this fat white guy who is crying over misplaced pants and slaps you with a lawsuit big enough to drive all your life's earnings into the ground. Legal fees and other expenses had to be paid out by the Chungs in order to fight Judge Pearson.

Just imagine this guy being in charge of a case you had to settle on. A miserable crook will determine the law of the American public. That's fucked. Oh but he does have a soft spot, you see, just recently he reduced his lawsuit to just a mere $54 million. What a sweetheart.

Decisions decisions...

It is scientifically proven we have the tendency to convince ourselves that every decision we make is acceptable, regardless if it is a good or bad choice. Majority of choices are based on instinct, but it is after that choice we begin to rationalize with ourselves that "I have made the right decision". We tend to find the positives with every decision made in order to convince ourselves that we did not miss out on any other opportunity.

Take purchasing a house for example. You paid for it. And even if there are cracks, leaks or bad neighbours, you would say "it needs some work". You won't say "I should've bought another house" otherwise you are dismissing the time and money put into your investment.

You miss out on opportunities of love because you're too lame to ask her/him out. But after the fact that the opportunity passed you by, you would say "well I'm too busy to be in a relationship", or "She/He's probably bad for me anyways". You get the point? We often fool ourselves in living a falsified notion of what is acceptable in order to be contempt.

I will move in 3 months time. And I will tell myself that I have made the right decision because I invested time and effort into the move. There will be no regrets. That way, I will be contempt. By shutting off everything that is rational. That's really sad. But it's human nature I guess...

It's not that hard

"I saved up enough money. I can go anywhere in the world. I have enough experience to get a job elsewhere. I'll be fine. You can leave now Phil. There's no point in staying. You passed the 1 year mark. Just get up, go over to your manager's desk, and tell him you're leaving. It's simple. Drop what you're doing. You're not that important anyways. You won't be missed. Just go, tell your manager, he won't get mad, it's no surprise to him anyways. Tell him. Do it you dumb fuck."

This is what I tell myself every morning and every time I work on a project I despise. I have every reason to leave. There really is no point in me staying. There was three company announcements today on either a mat-leave or a director leaving. If they can do it on two weeks notice. Why can't I?

God I'm such a pussy. I always tell myself to find a job first, and then I'll quit. But judging by the looks of it, I'm not quitting anytime soon.

Band Photo

Here's a mock up of our band photo. Great eh?

Small Town USA

Took a trip down to Buffalo to help a friend move. We were co-workers once, working minimum wage, packaging containers at a plastics factory just over 5 years ago. Now he is engaged, ran the Boston marathon, and is officially a medical dentist all by the age of 25. You see what I mean by how I can never be happy? There are simply those that overshadow your achievements, whether its relative or not.

He is settling into an apartment just outside downtown Buffalo. A quaint little neighbourhood that radiates that "small town" feel. Parks, cottage homes, fat people, memorials, churches, and enough American flags to blanket the town. But I loved it. All that was running through my head were Sufjan Steven songs and the movie "Elizabethtown". Woman were dressed southern like, but anti-war protesters and signs of presidential disapproval reminds me that we are still in a blue state.

As much as I enjoyed the visit, my gut tells me I still belong in the city. I now feel more fortunate that I live a 30 mins drive away from the downtown core of Toronto. Not to knock on Buffalo, but a single subway line and their entitlement as the primary export of greasy wings does not satisfy my appetite for culture and history. I once felt Toronto as a follower of London and New York but is in fact superior to hundreds around the world. Although it is exhausting to chase the core of what is "cool", I often take Toronto for granted. This trip has definitely shown me that.

Please go on

Me - "You're 19 right?"

K - "I'm 29, but that's flattering"

Me - "Well is there anything you have yet to achieve before you turn 30?"

K - "Wow, that's a loaded question"

Me - "I know, but there has to be something you wish to accomplish before you reach this milestone"

K - "I do wish I was harder working"

Me - "And?"

K - "More organized"

At that moment I realized why hanging out with people at work isn't such a great idea.

Should I take it?

I have to admit. I'm not really good at what I do. I can't deal with numbers, I'm always fumbling in front of clients, and I can't calculate figures in my head. Hell, I can't even talk on the phone and type at the same time.

So do I like what I'm doing? Sometimes, but usually it's not related to work. Figuring out finances or database results do in fact make me want to step out of my cubicle and kick a random stranger square in the head.

But now ACNielsen HK is offering a position in the same department. At least I'll be able to afford my own place. Is it even worth it? I think I should wait. Hold out for something better. I know something better will come along... you just have to wait...

I gotta stop talking about work

I can't help it. It consumes roughly 45 hours of your week, and sometimes you take it home with you. I'm currently being scolded for not meeting deadlines. Problem is, there are times when I don't even know whether it is even actual work that I'm doing.

A product launch is coming up on thursday. The theme is movies. We just spent 45 min at our meeting today, attended my managers and directors, discussing whether we should bring in a popcorn machine. The slacker in me says "yes, talk away". The keener in me says "should we be doing actual work?". In the end, who cares. Because regardless of what we talk about, we still get paid.

Parenting is tough

My mom took an immediate flight back to Hong Kong because of my aunt. In all her 25+ years of travel, she had always been with my dad. Often times, relying on him to navigate even the simplest of directions in plane travel. But that's how it's always been, and when it comes to experiencing the joys of travel, the two are inseparable. Romantic isn't it? Well this time, she had to go alone.

Even days before the flight, my father would show concern. To be honest, I thought it was no big deal. I just told her to always look up, ask questions, and double check everything. It used to be my parents sending me off to trips with the concern for safety, but as I was driving my mom to the airport at 6:45 am on sat, I felt the roles have reversed.

She would often ask naive questions that get me concerned, like "when do I use the aeroplan card?", or "could I bring in liquids?". From check in to baggage check, I grew weary at the fact that my mother had to travel alone. Even as I was walking away, it was like sending your kids off to the first day of school, you can't help but always look back and wave to reassure yourself that they will be OK.

Work conversations:

K - "If I was anything like my sister, I would be a superwoman. My sister is like, super smart"
Me - "Really? What does she do"
K - "She's getting her masters in English"
Me - "Wow, where?"
K - "Laurier"

Seriously folks, not that smart...

Jobs to avoid

Don't work cashier at a stats company. Those paying for their meals in the cafeteria will have the numbers figured out before you finish punching in the cost. You wonder why the turnover for that position is so high. Since I worked at Nielsen, there must have been at least 4 different cashier attendants. The current one is not doing so hot either. How embarrassing is it for the consumer to tell you how much change to take out/put in while those lining up is rolling their eyes in how slow the line is moving. I give her another 2 months tops.

I should be doing something productive

Happiness is a state of mind. It's not circumstance or environment. You could be the ugliest, least successful person on earth and yet live a better life then majority of people who take anti-depressants in North America. I think this fact is obvious but to practice it is different. My theory is, you're happy so long as you're not exposed to what could make you happier. If all my friends are stacking shelves at wal-mart, I would tell myself "I have it pretty good". But that is not the case. Its a double edged sword. Because now I have to work harder to attain what is perceived to make me happy, which is probably a never ending cycle. You wonder why North Americans are sad despite having access to everything. It's that exposure that makes them want more... thus leading to unhappiness.

If I told my 18 yr old self that I would be working in a corporation, pulling in decent money, owning a car and attending concerts every weekend, I would be more than content. Too bad now I was exposed to life's pleasures because now, my state of mind is no where near what I was 6 years ago entering University. It sucks, but this means I just gotta try harder, yet still be content, knowing I am living my high school dream...

Love, it's pretty frustrating

Don't you agree? When you have it, you're not satisfied. When you don't, you wish for it to happen. You only appreciate it AFTER the breakup. And even during love, you would do the most irrational of things. I look back at emails of previous relationships and think to myself, "what an idiot". I can't believe words like 'babe', 'I miss you', 'you're right' would come out of my mouth. I look at pictures of past relationships and my heart just sinks, wishing I can go back to it all over again.

As a guy though, it's frustrating. I do believe that attractiveness and intelligence for woman is an inverse relationship. Good looking women can get away with acting stupid for a better part of their lives because they are always sucked up to by men. Which is why fat girls must make up for it through humour. Well, fat boys alike as well. There are attractive people at work, but it is a daily struggle to not roll my eyes at the self-involved things that come out of their mouth. Just frustrating!

AHHH Long Weekend

The long weekend. You gotta love it. I have no plans whatsoever today and it feels great. I can do whatever I want. Ella Fitzgerald in the background, sunbeams peering through the windows, and knowing that today I can catch up with my future plans.

Tim came back for the weekend. Walter will be here in July. Open doors on Sun. UFC/Guitar Hero on Sat. New York and Hong Kong looks promising. Life is good. Wow, never thought I'd ever say that.

How selfish... my mom's sister has a cancer operation tonight and my cousin's baby is still in the hospital. Fucking hate the unfairness of life. I can't be happy without feeling guilty sometimes...

Should I wait it out?

Well that was fast. It's not an offer, nor do I think it's a formal interview. But someone in New York still took a look at my resume and requested a meeting.

It's like making a bunch of empty proclamations and now it's coming true. Although work is beginning to look alot more promising at home, and responsibilities are piling, should I just drop all that for an occupation I'm uncertain about? Heck, I don't even know what the job description is, and the pay/role is still unclear. I could be diving headfirst into an empty pool and giving up something which I'm growing to enjoy... (yet still going to leave behind mind you).

Or am I simply making too many excuses for myself to not venture into the unknown. Y'know, that old man that tells his grandchildren "I should've done this" before he passes away.

But there's still time. Five months worth of time. It shouldn't be how I treat woman, in which I take whatever comes first. Look at your options. But still talk to them. Yeah, keep your options open Phil....

great, now I'm having conversations with my head in third person...

Boy was that pretentious..

Clues to know that you are at a hipster party:
1. Nobody claims they are hipsters
2. Every other music played is a remix/mash-up of a recent song
3. Everyone at the party has either lived in London or New York
4. Everyone has at least one celebrity encounter
5. Every other band mentioned in conversation is unrecognizable
6. Everyone is either in the fashion/writing/music industry
7. Everyone's own experiences are more important than others
8. There is either a stack of New Yorker magazines, vinyls, or art books on the table.

You think I should fit in... but I felt oddly out of place.

Not necessary...

Fucking hate mowing the lawn. Hate it. There are a lot of chores in life that is absolutely unnecessary for people aged 20-30 to do:
1. Moving the lawn
2. Washing dishes (by hand)
3. Shoveling snow
4. Hanging clothes

They are simply time consuming and can suck productivity out of life. It's not even joyous or meditative. Just fucking repetitive with no end. I seriously hope by the end of this year, all four mundane tasks will be eliminated from my life....

Does music make things worse?

When one listens to music in times of depression... I honestly think it makes it worse. But it's the fact that you are even more depressed is what the listener enjoys. This kind of emotional trigger which is already predetermined when popping in that cd. The listener already knows what to expect, but to feel your heart sink when all the right chords are played together can willingly push the listener to tears, and it feels great. The voice that comes out of the speakers is able to sympathize with the listener, reminding him/her they are not alone. But why do people continuously induce this to themselves? I'm not certain as I do it myself....

In other news, I read that you don't need high IQ to accumulate wealth. In fact, there is a slight inverse relationship with high IQ and wealth. In other words, high IQ can lead to high income, but not necessarily wealth. One hypothesis is because high IQ individuals are reluctant to take chances. They reason themselves to avoid high risk opportunities. Entrepreneurs on the other hand are in fact a little more stubborn but have this brilliant tendency to not listen to other's opinions. This I think is great news because I have concluded that I'm not good at academia no matter how envious I am of their intelligence. I'm sure I picked that up from my Dad....

INSTRUCTIONS TO LIFE: How to leave work early

I tell this to everyone, but I might as well write it down. I personally do not suggest doing this, nor have I done it before in my short career, but having witnessed enough office shenanigans, this indeed does work. From group director to office intern, this strategy works for just about everyone.

In order to leave work early, you will need the following:
a) 1 Computer
b) 1 Accomplice
c) 1 Steaming hot cup of Coffee/Hot chocolate/Tea
d) 20 sheets of paper
e) 1 Lamp
f) 4 Co-Workers

Directions:
1. Notify your accomplice about your early departure. Even lie to the accomplice if necessary to coerce your accomplice to take part in your plan. (i.e. "Judge Judy is only on in weekdays" is a good one)
2. Log onto your computer (if you havn't done so already) and turn on your lamp to the brightest setting.
3. Open microsoft office and book a meeting time from the time you wish to leave, till end of work day
4. Go into the office kitchen and pour yourself an incredibly hot beverage. One that can assure you the steaming life of at least 10 minutes.
5. Place the beverage on the corner of your desk where it is most visible to passers by
6. Scatter at least 20 sheets of paper around your desk in an unorganized fashion. Just make sure the sheets have lots of graphs, words or charts.
7. Turn to the co-workers next to you and tell them how busy you are. Assign work to them if necessary to show that you even require their help to finish off your "massive" workload
8. By now, your self assigned meeting should pop up in which you then grab your nearest folder (doesn't matter which one) and head home. IMPORTANT -- Do not head to your meeting.
9. When end of work-day arrives, your accomplice should turn off your computer and light for you to return unnoticed the next day

Note: You may have to return the favor for your accomplice

I can't say who in the office has done this, but it's a fairly common practice.

Sweetheart, tomorow is another day...

Dynamics make a group. Or should I say chemistry. People instinctively act different around one another pending on the group. It's like poker, where you combine various numbers to make a new set. Some sets are stronger than others. And if you are so lucky as to have a royal flush, which I believe is a combination of 1 girlfriend, 3 guyfriends and 1 girlfriend's friend that has a personality, then you're in luck.

And I thought yesterday was pretty close. It kind of made me understand why Laurier Business was moderately bareable. Although despite all the reminiscing, I also realized why I felt out of place. And its simply the combination. On an individual basis, or even in smaller groups, my comfort level increases. But once the crowd increases, I suddenly find myself in the need to please others, like I had to prove something to the entire group, but in reality, I should just be acting like myself. Does that even make sense? I also noticed that with others as well... going from encouraging to discouraging to possibly feel dominant within a group. Human nature I guess... that goes for almost everything wrong in the world these days.

Didn't even do much job hunting. Although I did get a contact name to an HR rep in the New York office. And a letter of recommendation from my ultra-kind manager.

Note to self:

1. Continue to be kind to others, because you'll never know what they'll become. Well, with the exception to overly obese people because stomach stapling should not be coming out of taxpayer dollars.

2. Shoot a video interview. Businessweek says it's becoming the new trend, and employers are more receptive towards it. I just need a make-up artist that will make me look older, or taller, hell, just paint me white...

You caved in you pity seeking little whore.

Like drugs, sex, business school and facebook, I have become a hypocrite to my own rants. At first claiming "no, it is bad for you", to now indulging in the very things I am against. But I've given up on being certain about anything any more. If Ted Haggard can go from preaching at one of the largest North American Churches to being caught with a male prostitute, that is truly a testament of nature overwhelming nurture. And it happens to everyone, just that some suppress things better than others...

This is officially day 1 of many before I move out of this damn country. I have given myself a deadline of Oct. 30ish, in which I will pack my bags and head out to either:
1. New York
2. Hong Kong
3. London (England, not that other town in Canada)
4. Suggestions?

Well, I like Canada, and I might return, but that's when I'm waayyyy over the hill with literally nothing else better to do besides sit around the porch all day and talk the weather.

The reason why I'm verbally masturbating like this is so I can document my experiences on planning such a life-changing trip. I have literally 6 months and I HAVE TO make the most of it. This is also so that I can look back in 5 years time.... still single... living at home... working minimum wage.... and telling myself "well at least you tried Phil. And boy did you fuck up". In essence Blogging should:

1. Improve my shitty writing skills
2. Remind me to move out of this country on a daily basis
3. Remind me to move out of this country on a daily basis

Ok, off to do some research....