Work conversations:

K - "If I was anything like my sister, I would be a superwoman. My sister is like, super smart"
Me - "Really? What does she do"
K - "She's getting her masters in English"
Me - "Wow, where?"
K - "Laurier"

Seriously folks, not that smart...

Jobs to avoid

Don't work cashier at a stats company. Those paying for their meals in the cafeteria will have the numbers figured out before you finish punching in the cost. You wonder why the turnover for that position is so high. Since I worked at Nielsen, there must have been at least 4 different cashier attendants. The current one is not doing so hot either. How embarrassing is it for the consumer to tell you how much change to take out/put in while those lining up is rolling their eyes in how slow the line is moving. I give her another 2 months tops.

I should be doing something productive

Happiness is a state of mind. It's not circumstance or environment. You could be the ugliest, least successful person on earth and yet live a better life then majority of people who take anti-depressants in North America. I think this fact is obvious but to practice it is different. My theory is, you're happy so long as you're not exposed to what could make you happier. If all my friends are stacking shelves at wal-mart, I would tell myself "I have it pretty good". But that is not the case. Its a double edged sword. Because now I have to work harder to attain what is perceived to make me happy, which is probably a never ending cycle. You wonder why North Americans are sad despite having access to everything. It's that exposure that makes them want more... thus leading to unhappiness.

If I told my 18 yr old self that I would be working in a corporation, pulling in decent money, owning a car and attending concerts every weekend, I would be more than content. Too bad now I was exposed to life's pleasures because now, my state of mind is no where near what I was 6 years ago entering University. It sucks, but this means I just gotta try harder, yet still be content, knowing I am living my high school dream...

Love, it's pretty frustrating

Don't you agree? When you have it, you're not satisfied. When you don't, you wish for it to happen. You only appreciate it AFTER the breakup. And even during love, you would do the most irrational of things. I look back at emails of previous relationships and think to myself, "what an idiot". I can't believe words like 'babe', 'I miss you', 'you're right' would come out of my mouth. I look at pictures of past relationships and my heart just sinks, wishing I can go back to it all over again.

As a guy though, it's frustrating. I do believe that attractiveness and intelligence for woman is an inverse relationship. Good looking women can get away with acting stupid for a better part of their lives because they are always sucked up to by men. Which is why fat girls must make up for it through humour. Well, fat boys alike as well. There are attractive people at work, but it is a daily struggle to not roll my eyes at the self-involved things that come out of their mouth. Just frustrating!

AHHH Long Weekend

The long weekend. You gotta love it. I have no plans whatsoever today and it feels great. I can do whatever I want. Ella Fitzgerald in the background, sunbeams peering through the windows, and knowing that today I can catch up with my future plans.

Tim came back for the weekend. Walter will be here in July. Open doors on Sun. UFC/Guitar Hero on Sat. New York and Hong Kong looks promising. Life is good. Wow, never thought I'd ever say that.

How selfish... my mom's sister has a cancer operation tonight and my cousin's baby is still in the hospital. Fucking hate the unfairness of life. I can't be happy without feeling guilty sometimes...

Should I wait it out?

Well that was fast. It's not an offer, nor do I think it's a formal interview. But someone in New York still took a look at my resume and requested a meeting.

It's like making a bunch of empty proclamations and now it's coming true. Although work is beginning to look alot more promising at home, and responsibilities are piling, should I just drop all that for an occupation I'm uncertain about? Heck, I don't even know what the job description is, and the pay/role is still unclear. I could be diving headfirst into an empty pool and giving up something which I'm growing to enjoy... (yet still going to leave behind mind you).

Or am I simply making too many excuses for myself to not venture into the unknown. Y'know, that old man that tells his grandchildren "I should've done this" before he passes away.

But there's still time. Five months worth of time. It shouldn't be how I treat woman, in which I take whatever comes first. Look at your options. But still talk to them. Yeah, keep your options open Phil....

great, now I'm having conversations with my head in third person...

Boy was that pretentious..

Clues to know that you are at a hipster party:
1. Nobody claims they are hipsters
2. Every other music played is a remix/mash-up of a recent song
3. Everyone at the party has either lived in London or New York
4. Everyone has at least one celebrity encounter
5. Every other band mentioned in conversation is unrecognizable
6. Everyone is either in the fashion/writing/music industry
7. Everyone's own experiences are more important than others
8. There is either a stack of New Yorker magazines, vinyls, or art books on the table.

You think I should fit in... but I felt oddly out of place.

Not necessary...

Fucking hate mowing the lawn. Hate it. There are a lot of chores in life that is absolutely unnecessary for people aged 20-30 to do:
1. Moving the lawn
2. Washing dishes (by hand)
3. Shoveling snow
4. Hanging clothes

They are simply time consuming and can suck productivity out of life. It's not even joyous or meditative. Just fucking repetitive with no end. I seriously hope by the end of this year, all four mundane tasks will be eliminated from my life....

Does music make things worse?

When one listens to music in times of depression... I honestly think it makes it worse. But it's the fact that you are even more depressed is what the listener enjoys. This kind of emotional trigger which is already predetermined when popping in that cd. The listener already knows what to expect, but to feel your heart sink when all the right chords are played together can willingly push the listener to tears, and it feels great. The voice that comes out of the speakers is able to sympathize with the listener, reminding him/her they are not alone. But why do people continuously induce this to themselves? I'm not certain as I do it myself....

In other news, I read that you don't need high IQ to accumulate wealth. In fact, there is a slight inverse relationship with high IQ and wealth. In other words, high IQ can lead to high income, but not necessarily wealth. One hypothesis is because high IQ individuals are reluctant to take chances. They reason themselves to avoid high risk opportunities. Entrepreneurs on the other hand are in fact a little more stubborn but have this brilliant tendency to not listen to other's opinions. This I think is great news because I have concluded that I'm not good at academia no matter how envious I am of their intelligence. I'm sure I picked that up from my Dad....

INSTRUCTIONS TO LIFE: How to leave work early

I tell this to everyone, but I might as well write it down. I personally do not suggest doing this, nor have I done it before in my short career, but having witnessed enough office shenanigans, this indeed does work. From group director to office intern, this strategy works for just about everyone.

In order to leave work early, you will need the following:
a) 1 Computer
b) 1 Accomplice
c) 1 Steaming hot cup of Coffee/Hot chocolate/Tea
d) 20 sheets of paper
e) 1 Lamp
f) 4 Co-Workers

Directions:
1. Notify your accomplice about your early departure. Even lie to the accomplice if necessary to coerce your accomplice to take part in your plan. (i.e. "Judge Judy is only on in weekdays" is a good one)
2. Log onto your computer (if you havn't done so already) and turn on your lamp to the brightest setting.
3. Open microsoft office and book a meeting time from the time you wish to leave, till end of work day
4. Go into the office kitchen and pour yourself an incredibly hot beverage. One that can assure you the steaming life of at least 10 minutes.
5. Place the beverage on the corner of your desk where it is most visible to passers by
6. Scatter at least 20 sheets of paper around your desk in an unorganized fashion. Just make sure the sheets have lots of graphs, words or charts.
7. Turn to the co-workers next to you and tell them how busy you are. Assign work to them if necessary to show that you even require their help to finish off your "massive" workload
8. By now, your self assigned meeting should pop up in which you then grab your nearest folder (doesn't matter which one) and head home. IMPORTANT -- Do not head to your meeting.
9. When end of work-day arrives, your accomplice should turn off your computer and light for you to return unnoticed the next day

Note: You may have to return the favor for your accomplice

I can't say who in the office has done this, but it's a fairly common practice.

Sweetheart, tomorow is another day...

Dynamics make a group. Or should I say chemistry. People instinctively act different around one another pending on the group. It's like poker, where you combine various numbers to make a new set. Some sets are stronger than others. And if you are so lucky as to have a royal flush, which I believe is a combination of 1 girlfriend, 3 guyfriends and 1 girlfriend's friend that has a personality, then you're in luck.

And I thought yesterday was pretty close. It kind of made me understand why Laurier Business was moderately bareable. Although despite all the reminiscing, I also realized why I felt out of place. And its simply the combination. On an individual basis, or even in smaller groups, my comfort level increases. But once the crowd increases, I suddenly find myself in the need to please others, like I had to prove something to the entire group, but in reality, I should just be acting like myself. Does that even make sense? I also noticed that with others as well... going from encouraging to discouraging to possibly feel dominant within a group. Human nature I guess... that goes for almost everything wrong in the world these days.

Didn't even do much job hunting. Although I did get a contact name to an HR rep in the New York office. And a letter of recommendation from my ultra-kind manager.

Note to self:

1. Continue to be kind to others, because you'll never know what they'll become. Well, with the exception to overly obese people because stomach stapling should not be coming out of taxpayer dollars.

2. Shoot a video interview. Businessweek says it's becoming the new trend, and employers are more receptive towards it. I just need a make-up artist that will make me look older, or taller, hell, just paint me white...

You caved in you pity seeking little whore.

Like drugs, sex, business school and facebook, I have become a hypocrite to my own rants. At first claiming "no, it is bad for you", to now indulging in the very things I am against. But I've given up on being certain about anything any more. If Ted Haggard can go from preaching at one of the largest North American Churches to being caught with a male prostitute, that is truly a testament of nature overwhelming nurture. And it happens to everyone, just that some suppress things better than others...

This is officially day 1 of many before I move out of this damn country. I have given myself a deadline of Oct. 30ish, in which I will pack my bags and head out to either:
1. New York
2. Hong Kong
3. London (England, not that other town in Canada)
4. Suggestions?

Well, I like Canada, and I might return, but that's when I'm waayyyy over the hill with literally nothing else better to do besides sit around the porch all day and talk the weather.

The reason why I'm verbally masturbating like this is so I can document my experiences on planning such a life-changing trip. I have literally 6 months and I HAVE TO make the most of it. This is also so that I can look back in 5 years time.... still single... living at home... working minimum wage.... and telling myself "well at least you tried Phil. And boy did you fuck up". In essence Blogging should:

1. Improve my shitty writing skills
2. Remind me to move out of this country on a daily basis
3. Remind me to move out of this country on a daily basis

Ok, off to do some research....