Quantifying a good email...

Good / Bad Email =

1

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Response Time + length of email

Brian Lee's Equation for Happiness

Happiness =

Reality
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Expectations

Flame On!

The whole flame carrying ceremony is absurd no?

Several key points as to why:

1. A man / woman lights a modern looking silver stick that apparently is resistant to extreme weather, is designed with a grip, and bears no resemblance to a torch besides its name.

2. The torch is trekked through several countries where heavy security is required to simply keep it burning. We are spending millions of tax dollars to keep fire alive. If this fire had the ability to cure cancer, or cause world peace, than sure, its fair. But for gods sake, its fire.

3. The IOC refuses to change the course of the path simply to signify that they are true to their principles. And what kind of principles are these? It is out of stubbornness that they are literally putting the voluntary runners in the path of danger.

4. The torch is going through Tibet. Now that, is a really dumb idea.

Slow reply to emails

I remember when I made a New Year's resolution last year to instantly reply to emails. No matter how big or small, how important or trivial the issue, I will try reply as soon as possible.

Put my ego aside, don't keep your friend / family waiting, and leave it up to the other end to respond whenever they feel like. This way, you would be considered as accountable. This way, no time is lost to ambiguity in situations.

But now it is getting more difficult. My poor ability in time management is causing me to reply at the rate of once a month. That's really pathetic seeing that it should only take 10 minutes to type something up. All it takes is 10 minutes to keep a solid friendship alive, regardless of whether they are in the same country or not. You never know when you could have gained an important relationship, but at least you know you tried. And all it takes is to reply instantly to emails.

It can be due to work. Where all we do is type emails, and the last thing we want to do in our spare time is type some more. But this is the means of communications in the most articulate and thought out manner. I just have to get used to it.

Elevator Awkwardness

The building where I work at. Their elevators. It's ALWAYS full. It ALWAYS contains at least 1 person from my company. It is entirely encased by mirrors (with the exception of the floor).

It is at this arena where it puts both your confidence and small talk skills to the ultimate test.

Seeing that I am new, there is very little material to work with. Plus the fact that they cram the elevators at its fullest capacity, you are pressed against one another in a very intimate setting. If you turn away, you can still see them through one of five reflective mirrors in the elevator. I hope I will soon grow numb to this incredibly uncomfortable ritual.

So I found it!

At this stage, the feeling of excitement is gone. But anyways, here it goes.... I found a job.

Yep. A WPP owned company called Maxx Marketing. Besides the name, I do find the company pretty damn cool. Seriously, does Maxx really need that extra "x"?

You see, they are an advertising agency, but rather than communicating through the medium of print or television, they use products. Spongebob toys, KFC giveaways, Kellogg's box inserts are all from us. And I proudly say "us".

Only now I am more skeptical, more serious, and more worried. Could it be another Fluid? For one, there is REAL clients that are actually educated. I have a boss that doesn't yell profanity over minor issues. They have an HR department. They have experienced professionals that is older than 40.

Good, I think I'm on the right track.

Jay Walker

When walking in a group of more than 2, it should be deemed as appropriate jaywalking etiquette to confirm the comfort level of jaywalking amongst your peers. Otherwise, there will be a disconnect in understanding.

When alone, it is certainly much easier to jaywalk whenever you wanted because there is no dialog to maintain. Things get more complicated when in a group setting, one freezes while others dash. Conversations get broken, others are called out as pussies, few get hit by cars, it all gets really messy if no prior understanding is established.

Midweek conversation

"Your religion in Facebook says Dogfighting, that's really funny" - Me

"I know, Michael Vick was our first martyr" - P

Oh and one more thing...

Nope, the entire ordeal with my ex-employer is not over yet. You see, he promised to pay for the rest of the month's wages while I seek employment. Standard procedure.

Upon checking January's transactions, he paid me $650 less.

In the grand scale of things, it does not really matter. But how can someone be cheap enough to not even hold his end of the bargain. I'm sure he spent that $650 on hiring two handicapped homeless children fight each other with broken bottles at his own pleasure.

My ex-boss, having being born in England, no sense of morals, no understanding of society, lack of culture, little education and an extremely hard work ethic (with little efficiency mind you), makes me to believe he was born during the industrial revolution, frozen in an ice chamber, thawed out, only to stumble over a briefcase full of money, and started a creative agency. Oh, and the devil thawed him out in return for his soul.

I worked for the devil

So upon departing from my previous job, my boss promised to write me a recommendation letter.

Good right? I decided to draft it and have him edit it. However, I received the following response:

Hi Phil,

Your urgent request will be handled.

However, I mean no offence and want to support you but this letter is over the top and does not sound credible. I prefer a more subtle approach please.

I have made some changes, see attached.

I have also printed it and signed it and it is at graze as requested.

Cheers,

xxxx

Hm... what wonderful changes has he made? Can you spot the difference?

Initial Letter (latter part of the letter):

Philip can work independently and is able to follow through to ensure that the job gets done. He has excellent communication skills and is quick to learn in any situation.

Philip would be a great asset for your company and certainly deserves my recommendation. If you have any further questions with regard to his background or qualifications, please do not hesitate to call me.

Edited version:

Philip has good communication skills and is quick to learn.

If you have any further questions with regard to his background or qualifications, please do not hesitate to call me.

Who was that?

So a lady calls and said she received my resume, but would like to follow up with a few more questions. As she proceeded to talk, the phone cut off due to bad connection. It's been three hours and there was no call back. I don't even know who called. The call display is labeled "private", and the company was said so quickly I could not catch it...

I don't think I can go to sleep tonight. Maybe its just a telemarketer... yeah that's it.. a telemarketer.

What you waiting for?

I mentioned this to everyone already, but it only takes 1 word to sum up my entire unemployment experience thus far: complacent.

With no job security and income, but a good education and social group, I have skipped the entire "Physiological Need" stage in Maslow's Hierarchy and is at "Esteem Need". So clearly my foundations are all fucked.

I am content, which I should not be. I am worried, which I should not be. There really is no middle ground to my emotions. Upon realizing this, and become the butt of all jokes, it can only get worse.

Thoughts at work

The day I am free is when I don't have to CC anyone in my emails

Unfortunate

"Why is it that when people do drugs they are always naked?" - N

"Well, maybe because they don't expect to die" - S

Joy Division

According to research (pointed out by The Economist), certain criteria makes one happier than others:
1. Married > single
2. Extroverted > introvert
3. Optimists > pessimists
4. Nurses > banker
5. Religious > atheist
6. Sexually active > virgin
7. College Grad > no education
8. Short commute to work > long commute to work

I only satisfy 3 of the 8 criteria listed. Well, 7 seeing that I don't really have to commute to work as of late.

Iceland and Switzerland are the happiest places on earth. Oddly, they are both ethnically homogeneous. Does this mean there are benefits to racism?

Faircuts Haircuts

I was not even feeling adventurous, but out of convenience, at the backstreets of Yau Ma Tei, I decided to walk into the first building that held a spinney canister for a quick haircut. This random sampling of barbershops have been done numerous times, but what separates this from the rest is in fact the place itself.

You see, the exterior, I thought, would be deceiving dirty. But is in fact no different inside. As I made it up the dusty steps, past colour-penciled images of 80's pop stars, I knew I was in trouble the second I stepped in. Four old ladies stopped playing Mahjong to serve me. None under the age of 65. It literally is someones apartment, accompanied with a kitchen, living room, and someones bedroom. The hair washing bison was covered in Mahjong pieces, and out of the entire area laid ONE barbershop chair. It was as if Sweeney Todd moved to Hong Kong.

The grandmother (possibly great grandmother), sits me down and preceeds with small talk. I wanted to talk my way out of there, but who says no to old people?

A younger looking woman then steps out of the kitchen to wash my hair. My heart was set at ease until, to my dismay, she passed me off again to the granny. I was in panic mode, telling her what I really wanted for a haircut. But judging by her age and what she considers "hip", I swear I was in for a communist square cut that I so dreaded.

If there was ever an award for the oldest barber living, she would take the cake. Her arthritic fingers trembled at every clip. Her aging vision prevented her from seeing certain angles. Her slouch forced her tiny figure to tippy toe every time the scissors reached the top of my head. It was definitely a recipe for disaster.

From there on, it was a matter of instructing an old lady at every turn, making sure she doesn't fuck it up to much. The entire process must have taken 2 hours, but I walked away content. Knowing that it's decent enough to leave my hat off.

Keep it in check.

My brain plays tricks on me every now and then. It instills confidence at times of promising news but then comes crashing down once doubt sets in. Doubt that is set off by literally nothing. Or reading into things too much. A non-response. A delayed message. A piece of gossip. A change in plans. That's when I panic. Headache, coupled with more layered thoughts that soon paralyses me from doing virtually anything but worry.

New Beginning (again)

At the end of most fiction novels, the last few pages sets the reader with a sense of closure, offering just enough information to know what will become of the protagonist. In "The Da Vinci Code" for example, we get a sense that Robert Langdon has contently solved the mystery and is about to embark on another adventure, having achieved winning the girl and saving the world.

Well apparently, my last blog couldn't have been more wrong, and the optimism that was once in me for this city is quickly fading. Tal D. Ben-Shahar has pointed that studies have shown those that were depressed before winning the lottery will become depressed again once the excitement of scoring the jackpot fades. Hong Kong was my jackpot. Funny how this blog had started with my intention of leaving Toronto, only to expect greener pastures on the other side.

But there should be nothing to dwell on, cause otherwise I'll be a sap. And my allowance to squeeze pity out of others have faded since yesterday. Since I was let-go / resigned / fucked over.

Part of what prevented me from speaking my mind, (or even blogging in the first place) was my occupation. My tale of re-immigration to this city was no different than that of a village Chinese worker moving into a garment factory. The series of events were as follows:

1. Worker moves overseas to work at a much lower salary
2. Worker's title is changed and is taking a much lower role than he/she expected
3. Worker is degraded on a daily basis and is forced to work bizarrely long hours
4. Worker, out of fear, cannot question the motives of the company
5. Worker is being lied to daily, and no longer knows what is true or false within the company
6. Company caves into corporate demands, but stretches it's capacity to do so.
7. Worker is cut for someone who is willing to bend over backwards for 1/2 the salary.

What I have obtained however, are hundreds of my boss's memorable quotes that will certainly make you question: "Was that for real?". Like a factory worker, the verbal abuse was at first amusing, but soon startlingly irritating, and then just downright depressing. I now realized why there was no HR in the company.

Here are three one-liners that were great:
" I can fire you anytime you know" - SS
" I want you to be successful. I don't have to do this, I'm a millionaire you know." - SS
" Phil, you have to learn to bullshit... but do so that it is true. Do you know what I mean?" - SS

The loss of the job certainly hurts the esteem and deflates what's left of my tiny ego. But my biggest surprise was the support of friends, acquaintances, relatives and parents that all say "fuck them" at my defense. Not once did anyone question whether I was inadequate, or incapable. They simply had my back and I am extremely grateful.

So now it is a new beginning (again). And what Hong Kong has in store for me I will take with more caution. I will no longer be deceived by attractive appearances, optimistic pep talk, and fear inducing propaganda. If it hinders on my motherfucking integrity, don't do it. Just be careful Phil and you'll be alright.