New Beginning (again)

At the end of most fiction novels, the last few pages sets the reader with a sense of closure, offering just enough information to know what will become of the protagonist. In "The Da Vinci Code" for example, we get a sense that Robert Langdon has contently solved the mystery and is about to embark on another adventure, having achieved winning the girl and saving the world.

Well apparently, my last blog couldn't have been more wrong, and the optimism that was once in me for this city is quickly fading. Tal D. Ben-Shahar has pointed that studies have shown those that were depressed before winning the lottery will become depressed again once the excitement of scoring the jackpot fades. Hong Kong was my jackpot. Funny how this blog had started with my intention of leaving Toronto, only to expect greener pastures on the other side.

But there should be nothing to dwell on, cause otherwise I'll be a sap. And my allowance to squeeze pity out of others have faded since yesterday. Since I was let-go / resigned / fucked over.

Part of what prevented me from speaking my mind, (or even blogging in the first place) was my occupation. My tale of re-immigration to this city was no different than that of a village Chinese worker moving into a garment factory. The series of events were as follows:

1. Worker moves overseas to work at a much lower salary
2. Worker's title is changed and is taking a much lower role than he/she expected
3. Worker is degraded on a daily basis and is forced to work bizarrely long hours
4. Worker, out of fear, cannot question the motives of the company
5. Worker is being lied to daily, and no longer knows what is true or false within the company
6. Company caves into corporate demands, but stretches it's capacity to do so.
7. Worker is cut for someone who is willing to bend over backwards for 1/2 the salary.

What I have obtained however, are hundreds of my boss's memorable quotes that will certainly make you question: "Was that for real?". Like a factory worker, the verbal abuse was at first amusing, but soon startlingly irritating, and then just downright depressing. I now realized why there was no HR in the company.

Here are three one-liners that were great:
" I can fire you anytime you know" - SS
" I want you to be successful. I don't have to do this, I'm a millionaire you know." - SS
" Phil, you have to learn to bullshit... but do so that it is true. Do you know what I mean?" - SS

The loss of the job certainly hurts the esteem and deflates what's left of my tiny ego. But my biggest surprise was the support of friends, acquaintances, relatives and parents that all say "fuck them" at my defense. Not once did anyone question whether I was inadequate, or incapable. They simply had my back and I am extremely grateful.

So now it is a new beginning (again). And what Hong Kong has in store for me I will take with more caution. I will no longer be deceived by attractive appearances, optimistic pep talk, and fear inducing propaganda. If it hinders on my motherfucking integrity, don't do it. Just be careful Phil and you'll be alright.